Half and Half

How is it to feel so scared and so excited? The first thought is paying $5000 for something that might not work and second is this the only way I get to carry my baby! I saw the Time Travlers Wife last night and it was a little slow but good. I needed a good cry last night. Waiting for me to get my cycle day 1 so that I can get a few more test this month is not a fun time especially when it wants to be a few days late. I have given up on that excitement on missed periods i just wait till it have been at least 15 days past the day I was supposed to get it. Well this morning I started spotting so I am glad I didn't test. It is just so hard to want something so much that you have never even had!