Hoping for a baby Smith

He has arrived!

2010-11-04T16:35:00.004-04:00

Well Mr. DC is here! He arrived at 3:52am on Oct 24th. He was 8lbs 20.5 inches.

I went in to labor at 3pm Sat Oct 23 contractions got to 3 mins apart at 5pm so we headed to the Hospital just to be sent home at 7 since I was only to 1cm and no change. The next 3 hours were horrible and headed back at 10pm. I was to 3cm and 90% effaced. Had an epidural by 11pm and soon after was at 5cm and they broke my water. At about 2am I was at 7cm. At 2:30am his heart rate had started to drop with the contraction so I signed paper work to approve a c-section if it didn't change , they applied internal monitors. At 3:15ish his heart rate dropped all the way to 60bpm so they ended up doing an emergency c-section and was born at 3:52am... Oh BTW I was 9cm dilated at this point too!

He is our perfect little boy!

39 weeks

2010-10-22T14:44:00.002-04:00

Still waiting and very pregnant! MY U/S on Tuesday said he was measuring between 8lbs 14oz and 9lbs 2oz! He is going to be one big baby bog!

36 weeks

2010-10-03T12:56:00.006-04:00

I am a horrible blogger. I haven't blogged since July! AGGGG

Well since then I have been diagnosed with Irritable Uterus at 29 weeks and Pubic Symphysis at 34 weeks.

I have gained a total of 8lbs ( 5 of that in the last 3 weeks) with my pregnancy and I got my husband home from Iraq.

Donavan is perfect. His week 32 US put him at 4.5lbs and 47% for growth and size. This is his $D US at 33 weeks. He is going to be my chubby cheek little boy. I can't wait to meet him! Being 36 weeks means he can arrive at anytime. I am ready for the all the time pain to be done in my crotch. I tell people it is like a migraine in my crotch it just hurts all the time! I am seeing a Physical Therapist twice a week and she is amazing with stretches and massage techniques.

Now we just wait for him to arrive. I love having my husband home and can't wait to see my sister in about 10 days. Sorry again for being such a bad blogger.

Happy July.. Well almost

2010-06-30T23:11:00.004-04:00

I guess it takes me a month to blog.... I decided to go "home" and spend a month with my parents. One less month of FL heat and a month of WI bugs LOL

Not much is new and as that is it is hard to blog. Tim is still overseas and Little C is kicking me every day. I had a really bad emotional day a week or 2 ago and i noticed that Little C decided to stop moving. He took about 24 hours to get back to kicking me again and he had me worried, but after dr. Google I read that this is really normal after a super emotional or stressful day and not that the day was stressful but I had a "couldn't stop crying" kind of day.

It is nice to be home now for awhile my baby shower is going to be in about 2 weeks. I didn't want it before the 6th month mark.

I am putting my 1 picture of me in maternity capris I really don't look pregnant unless I am wearing them and I have only had 2 pairs of pants for a week now. I am still -2lbs in my pregnancy weight but the dr is very happy with it as I conceived at 240lbs. The picture is me at 22 weeks.

Rebecca at The road less traveled was only 4 days farther along then I am when she delivered early and lost her little girl this past Sunday. This just weighs so heavy on my heart and adds a little worried voice in my head that pregnancy is just so fragile I don't think the worry will every go away! I try not to be a fretful person so I continue to go about my day and enjoy every kick 10x more!

I hope you all have a wonderful 4th I will miss my husband a little extra on Sunday!

XOXO

P.S. Oh something no one else tells you about is middle of the night tossing and turning belly cramps. I get the worst almost like a charlie horse on the side of my belly if I turn and stretch the wrong way in the middle of the night! It only lasts a few mins but man it is not fun.

Well It's a ....................

2010-06-09T22:11:00.004-04:00

I have been a bad bad blogger. It has been over a month since I have posted and I can't say a ton has happened. It is hard to blog when life is just being normal. Tim has now been deployed for over 12 weeks so he is past the half way point.

Well the big news you have all been waiting for we are having a BOY!! Oh my I can't believe it. We were told by the Dr's it would be a 75% chance of a girl so this is just amazing. We found out the 3d way when I was 18weeks. It was Memorial Day and Tim's parents were visiting from GA so they were with me and Tim and my parents were able to watch it live over a link. The best picture was the one my husband took.

Yes that is him watching from his room. It was extra special as this was the first Ultra Sound he has been able to see. He wont be home till I am past 30 weeks so I will be very pregnant by then. I hope to take him back and have another 3-D scan then.

It seemed week 18 was the beginning of it all I felt Little C move for the first time and he has been non stop ever since. I had my full scan at 19 weeks and he is already 10oz and his arms and legs are measuring a full week ahead.. He is going to be one big little man! They said everything was perfect but they couldn't get the full spine so I go back next week for another US!

I can not take this Florida heat much longer. The past week has been full of 90+ and 105-112 heat index! I am loving my AC!

Well I can't promise to blog more as my life has just been normal and the normal stuff tends to get boring. Little C and I will both continue to keep growing.

XOXOXO

Sarah

An Amazing ode to mothers

2010-05-11T20:17:00.000-04:00

Mommy Rhapsody from Church on the Move on Vimeo.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T22:26:00.002-04:00

I don't have a lot to blog about. Life is just passing by normal I have started swimming at my friends pool as the temps here have been in the 90's welcome Florida summer... I am hoping that the beaches don't end up ruined before i get the chance to go. Well my friend Sonya has this posted on her Facebook status so i used it as mine with changing it a little but I know many of you feel the same. "Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, step moms, moms to be, moms whose babies they never got to meet and those badly wanting babies, I hope next year you will be celebrating your first Mother's Day as a mom or mom to be! Becoming a mother to be was the greatest thing to ever happen to me and I am so grateful to be 15 weeks pregnant after all we went through!"
I hope you had a great day no matter what you did. XOXO

Happy Birthday to me!

2010-05-01T17:18:00.001-04:00

Well I turned 29 today and baby hit 14 weeks on on Friday! It is a little sad to be without Tim but I am having a good birthday anyways! XOXO

Peachy baby but not a peachy week

2010-04-23T17:39:00.005-04:00

So today is week 13 so baby and I are doing well but I have had an emotional roller coaster week.

Next weekend I turn 29 and I was supposed to go to my SIL wedding but I am not going to now. I ended up very emotional after finding out because I am not in the wedding that I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner. I have a complex of not being wanted and this lit a fire of that feeling and I just didn't know how to react but cry all week.

My husband not being here called his sister and found out it was because her in-law's to be were very strict on who was going to be at this dinner and there was no way around it. My SIL had first told me it was because they couldn't afford it but I found out my FIL offered to pay for me to be part of the dinner but they wouldn't back down. It shows me how much love my In-laws have for me.

But it took till Thursday night to find these things out and knowing how emotionally worked up I got over the week I knew I just couldn't go to the wedding without risking something setting me off emotionally again and I know this is not good for the baby. So instead of more worry and more stress of going I decided that I am not going to. I am going to just do something for myself next weekend and try to de-stress and ground myself! XOXO

This is Timette yesterday on my second take CVS scan the Dr said I am low risk with this first scan. Yeah for good news!

So I am a total Gleek!

2010-04-17T13:28:00.001-04:00

I love G.lee... It is a great TV show and I was in musicals in High school. This is a great flash mob video. I would love to show up to be part of one , I think it is such a unique part of this generation.

Wednesday night

2010-04-14T21:58:00.002-04:00

So I think I need to blog more. Get my thoughts and things that I did out there. You guys seem to enjoy reading.

So here I am as I just got back from getting a new steam vac from Walmart because my friends daughter threw up on my floor yesterday and I can still smell it. Maybe a normal person can't but being pregnant I can! So I went to the YMCA and went swimming today. That was a lot of fun. I need a new swimsuit ASAP! Being tall and heavier doesn't help then tend to be too low cut!

So after getting the Vac I stopped and got a chicken sandwich meal. Is it sad or bad that all I did was eat the fries?!?! Sorry some kid in some country that is starving you could have my chicken sandwich if I could give it too you... it has honey mustard on it....

So tomorrow I have my CVS ultrasound. No visit with my OB but just the US with the fetal medicine specialist. I am not extremely worried but with Tim having the chromosome issue I just want to be aware on how my baby is doing plus it is another chance to see "Timette" as my mom calls it. So now I am going to put the steam vac together and do the spot on my carpet.. cross your fingers the smell goes away! Otherwise my scentbots will be working overtime! XOXO

Happy Sunday!

2010-04-11T11:35:00.003-04:00

So I don't really have a lot going on here, Friday was the start of week 11. I feel good still having night sickness. So I got my dopplar last night. They included a dying battery so I got to hear the heart beat but by the time Tim got online the battery quit. So I need to go buy a new 9volt today. Wow it worked really well. It didn't read the actually HB but I could hear it.

So I wish I had more to talk about. In 3 weeks I am going to be 29.. WOW It happens that my SIL picked my 29th Birthday to be her wedding day. So I am flying to Virginia for that weekend. I am a huge birthday person. So this bothers me just a little bit. More that I am going without Tim. i am also not sure what to ask for. There is nothing I really need but I thought about asking for an Itouch since we have Verizon so I can't get an Iphone but I thought this would keep me entertained at appointments and flying by myself. I just don't know what to ask for. Any ideas would be great. Oh BTW I am not asking for baby stuff! Have a great Sunday! XOXOXO

Doppler....

2010-04-07T14:35:00.003-04:00

Yep I ordered one yesterday. I know I have heard all the positives and negatives but after the scare I just need some assurance. Plus I would love to be able to be on skype and let Tim hear the heartbeat. A little thing for piece of mind.

Oh does anybody have a recommendation for a body pillow. I am seeming to surround my self with all of my normal pillows and still not be fully comfortable. Just wondering.

Thank you all again for your support during my mini scare. Pregnancy being such a common thing can just feel so fragile and out of your control. XOXO

Blood OH MY.... UPDATE

2010-04-06T08:51:00.003-04:00

So last night at about midnight I was on the phone with Tim and went to the bathroom and OMG blood. It didn't seem like a little bit but like a lot a bit. So I get off the phone and call my OB office and the DR told me to just wait and call in the morning since I wasn't gushing blood and if it is a miscarry they can't stop it. So I put a panty liner on and went back to bed. I had my middle of the night pee and it was just a light pink. Now here I am in the morning and there is no more blood. So I have an appointment at 2:30.... WOW worry of this all being over before it has really started. i am lucky to have my parents still in town. Nothing like having your mom when your freaking out especially with husband being overseas too.

So until I go to the Dr and they tell me everything is ok I am just going to freak out and stay on the couch all day.

UPDATE!!!

So I saw a midwife at my dr's office and she said the bleeding probably came from the pap they did on Friday and I wasn't having any active bleeding this afternoon when she checked me. They gave me an RH factor shot and we were able to heart the babies heartbeat! I feel amazingly better. I had such worry. So rest and no s.e.x. which with Tim being 10,000 miles away will make that a non issue LOL! Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts and wishes it really helped today! XOXO

Happy Birthday Tim

2010-04-03T15:28:00.002-04:00

So today is my husband's 30th Birthday. It really disappoints me to not be with him. Especially turning 30. Which I think is a huge milestone. So I didn't get to get him a cake or have a big party but he isn't a big party person that is mostly me. So Happy Birthday Tim I miss you and love you so much!

In Other News: I hit 10 weeks yesterday and I had my first OB appointment. It wasn't with my OB I guess the first one never is at my office. Oh well my parents are in town so my mom went with me and I got to be blessed with another US. Oh my Gummy Bear was a moving and throwing punches. "Timette" as my mom calls it is 1.5 inches and 168bpm. It is really nice to have them here for the easter weekend. They are enjoying the Florida weather I am not enjoying the pollen that has come with it.

Well I am off to dye some easter eggs with Amanda and her sweeties! So much fun! XOXO

9 weeks

2010-03-26T12:04:00.003-04:00

Wow I am feeling so amazed and blessed. I had an amazing US today even saw the feet and hands moving.. S/He was just a fluttering. I measured at 9w1d and the heartbeat was 178bpm. I am just amazed! The actual picture is upside down as they are stuck to the top of my uterus.

My Raspberry!

2010-03-19T13:19:00.002-04:00

Today Baby is a Raspberry... Sweet and pretty as I think she will be... I mean he or she will be :)

Beautiful Surprise

2010-03-18T13:05:00.002-04:00

So my wonderful cousin Lara and her beautiful daughter Devon sent me these beautiful Roses yesterday! She was just wish me congratulations on the pregnancy. We come from a LARGE group of cousins but her dad and my dad are the 2 youngest kids so we are close compared to the large group that are a lot older then us. With that I am the 2nd of the 6 of us to be pregnant (she was the first LOL) so her family is just as excited for me as my family.

This night sickness is not fun at all. Last night was a really bad night. I took a phenergren and slept for 11hrs.. Yeah that was a long night LOL ! Oh and I haven't had hot water since Friday and that finally got fixed yesterday too. It was nice to have a long warm shower.

I can't believe tomorrow is 8 weeks. Time is going nicely fast. I don't want my pregnancy to go fast but I just want my husband to be home soon. Have a wonderful Thursday. XOXO

I miss my husband blues

2010-03-15T18:09:00.006-04:00

I wouldn't say I have the "blues" but some days the emotions take over more then other days. I guess today is one of those. I guess it was writing out Tim's birthday card knowing that we wont be spending his 30th Birthday or my 29th Birthday together this year. He isn't a big party guy but it is the thought. He didn't even want anything as a gift but I sent him something anyways. When I get sad I get super lazy. I haven't folded laundry in over a week I just have a big pile of it on my love seat. I had to clean my kitchen today because I can't take it if anything smells bad even a little bit. The extra chores certainly suck big time. Picking up dog poop every Sunday is the worse. We live in a home that has professional lawn care... Which is so awesome for the next 6 months but sucks because they start complaining if the dog poop is not picked up every week. So I have to go out there and pick it up with our pooper scooper but it always stinks and that means I start gaging.. It is such a fun thing. Oh how I miss my husband. Sorry for the woe is me blog and I know so many other military wives have it so much worse I at least get to talk on the phone even for a small amount of time every day. I just miss him.

Tim's Birthday Package

Oh on another note my poor Meadow has the itchies... I took her to the vet today and she just has a skin allergy from the grass pollen, but she is on steroids for the next week and Benadryl I normally wouldn't have gotten the steroids but she is not enjoying the scratching and she is itching A LOT!!! She is such a momma's girl she wouldn't even let them take her back to be weighed without me. She is my sweet sweet baby!

My Sweet Meadow (Ignore the laundry basket in the background)

I have a new small but expensive addiction/craving I got some on Friday and ended up going back today and got a few more. I ended up buying some regular strawberries on Sunday at the commissary I think I would love to make a strawberry shortcake. That is one thing I will miss if I move from the south is the wonderful access to fruit. I got a cantaloupe, a pineapple, and I got 2lbs of strawberries for $4... They are so sweet too. So I hope the fruit will help with my sweet cravings. Sorry again about the woe is me post. I can only promise it wont be my last one for the next 6 months. XOXO

My expensive craving I have ALWAYS loved Godiva!

Perfect Little Bean

2010-03-12T17:49:00.008-05:00

I have more pictures but this is the one I had emailed to myself. we couldn't hear the heartbeat but you could see it flicker right away and they measured it at 121bpm. Dr. S said everything for a 7week old looked perfect! Yolk Sac and everything. It is amazing to me still. I can't believe I am going to be a mom and we are going to have our Baby Smith! I go back in 2 weeks for the 9 week US. Thank you so much for all the love and support! XOXO

Wow it is almost tomorrow

2010-03-11T22:08:00.002-05:00

Well I can't believe tomorrow is about to be here.... It is Ultrasound day and 7 weeks.

I will let you all know what we know tomorrow! Have a great evening.. XOXO

9pm morning sickness oh my

2010-03-10T20:58:00.002-05:00

So I guess I am one of those... One of those that gets night time morning sickness. I don't know if the flu just triggered it but for the last 2 night at exactly 9pm I have heaved my guts out.. Sorry if that is TMI but if you have been here before I kind of always give TMI.. Last night was not so bad as I hadn't eaten much because of still recovering from Monday, but tonight was taco soup and oh my not as good coming up. Good thing or bad thing with my lap-band I don't throw up a lot I just kind of go threw the motions but there is always something that makes it threw. So anyways I am not enjoying this 9pm morning sickness.. I think it needs a new name especially when it isn't in the morning. Any thoughts?? Good night and sweet dreams anyways... XOXO

A brand new me...

2010-03-09T09:21:00.002-05:00

OMG I had the worst stomach flu yesterday. Thank god for having phenegran because throwing up is not really good for me. My stomach just burned all day and I was constantly running to the bathroom. I felt horrible. Luckily Amanda's husband Rich brought over diet 7-up and saltines. I needed something. Well I still have my 2 special lurkers out there! :) I guess if you would like to stay private and keep reading about my life I can't be upset. I am just glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I sometimes think of myself as a not a very interesting blogger. I am so much more witty in real life. I have never been a good writer. My spelling is HORRIBLE! I decided to blog as I knew I wanted to be able to read what we had gone threw and maybe help some one else that is feeling the same.

I miss my husband every day he is away. I really could have used him yesterday to make me feel better. I felt so bad because I was so sick and he just wanted to talk to me for a little while. It is even harder with him working 12hr days. I know he will be busy and that will help it go by quickly tomorrow is one week down 23 to go!

Thank you to Jo and A who even though weren't my real lurkers or #5000 it was sweet of them to comment! XOXO

Goodnight Sunday Night

2010-03-07T21:38:00.004-05:00

I don't have a lot to talk about. I am mostly tired and emotional and missing my hubby A LOT!! I have been feeling good. I still randomly POAS just to see that dark line. I can't wait till Friday for my first official U/S!! I need to put up a poll tomorrow on if you think there will be 1 or 2!!!

Well good night I am very lucky to have my furry babies to keep me company in my bed.

Good night ya'll!! XOXO

P.S. I would love to know who a few of you lurkers are! Especially the APO (military person) and the person from Ocean Springs, MS. If you would like to tell me in private my email is sarahjsmith51@gmail.com .

P.S.S. If you are the number 5000th visitor please let me know that too! It is the little things making me happy right now! :) Good night!

6 Weeks

2010-03-05T13:03:00.005-05:00

Wow 6 weeks... I just can't believe it. I seemed to welcome in 6 weeks last night with some night time "morning sickness". I guess I am very glad for increasing hormones. I also am glad for being extremely tired 10pm doesn't come soon enough. Last time Tim was deployed insomnia took over. There is none of that this time.

He called me at midnight to let me know he is safe and done traveling for awhile.

It was strange our really good friends from Louisiana were PCSing to Germany on the same day Tim was leaving so they were on the same plane leaving the country. It was nice for them to get to visit with each other.. I wished I had realized they were going to be at BWI too because I might have hopped on a plane and gone up there just to spend a few extra hours with Tim and our friends. Well it didn't happen so oh well.

We have also kind of been talking about taking a Babymoon when he gets home since I will only be at 30 weeks... Things to think about and keep myself busy with. XOXO

Is Sad

2010-03-02T18:14:00.000-05:00

My husband leaves tomorrow for 6 months. I am very sad!

A long night!

2010-03-01T01:33:00.003-05:00

After 4 LONG hours in the ER because I pulled a muscle in my shoulder I got told to take tylenol and that my HCG is 4266... They did a trans vaginal and saw "something" but it is too early to be sure. Well it is 1:30am Good Night! XOXO

A wonderful Award

2010-02-28T10:37:00.005-05:00

Thank you so much to Ann over at Our Emotional Journey for this fantastic award. Be sure to check out her blog she just had 2 embryos transfered and is in the middle of her 2ww and really loving her PIO shots J/K LOL

I have to list 10 Things That Make My Day and then list 10 Blogs worthy of this award as well, and then you'll have the award and they'll have the award too. Don't forget you'll have to do the same... list 10 Things and 10 Blogs to earn the award (then of course copy the pic of the award to your computer and paste/upload the award pic to your own blog post saying that you received this award with your 10 and 10).

Things that make my day!

Cheesey 80's music (espically when I am singing along in my car)

Diet Dr Pepper ( I am slowly giving it up)

Clothes that I think should be too small that fit.

Finding amazing coupons and getting things for free.

Getting flowers ramdomly from Tim.

Bubble Baths

Cuddles from my favorite Jacob.

Finding money in the dryer.

My husbands kisses

Sore boobs

I know I don't have my 10 people and I promise I will by then end of the week I am just feeling so emotional right now.... I started this on Sunday night if that tells you much about my week so far. Thank you for so much support! XOXO

Mr and Mrs Smith

2010-02-25T14:00:00.002-05:00

This is my strong, tall, sexy husband! I love you Mr. Smith!

Yawn....

2010-02-24T12:35:00.002-05:00

I am just so tired... This being a human incubator stuff can wear a person out. I started watching a 4yr old boy last week Monday and things were going fine but yesterday he showed his bad tantrum throwing screaming side. Wow did my stress level go threw the roof. I am not sure what to do . Tim agrees that if i feel like he is going to stress me out or if his tantrums could hurt me that the money is not worth it. Plus as I mentioned I am so tired. He leaves next week so I am slowly becoming more and more an emotional mess!

We went and saw Valentines Day last night. It was a sweet movie. A little long but sweet. I cried, I won't tell you what happened and is wasn't sad it was extremely sweet but I CRIED! I don't want him to leave and I try not to say those words out loud as I have no control over him leaving or not so at least for a few more days I will try to be the strong military wife. XOXO

3 posts... 3 days since last beta

2010-02-22T14:26:00.005-05:00

Well I guess it is a 3 kind of day. 3 posts, 3 days past last BETA which today's number was a 368... I am officially 4w3d...

Sorry to not have much to say just soaking it all in!

I would love to know some of your beta levels. XOXO

Wow and Welcome

2010-02-22T12:25:00.003-05:00

Well I just noticed my Feedjit had all these new places people were arriving from so I figured I would check it out. You all were coming from The Stirrup Queen's other blog called Lost and Found and Connections Abound and she mentioned my positive Beta!

So welcome all to my blog.

I am Sarah and I am finally Pregnant! XOXO

No more needles!

2010-02-22T11:37:00.002-05:00

Well I guess with a HCG of 119 the IVF nurse called me and I am switching to suppositories. Whoo Hoo for no more needles. I just can't take anymore shots in my buttocks.

So has anybody noticed anything new about my blog??

So I have been reading Dear John and I just got to the point of him leaving to go back overseas when i was waiting at quest today and I totally had to shut the book. I am a TOTAL crier. and I am not a small tears running down my cheeks crier but sobs and sobs kind of crier. LOL

I had one of these yesterday morning. My parents are my mom and step-dad. It was my step-dad that was here for 4 weeks to stay with our dog, he is that wonderful of a father. But with their love comes extra family. Things 5 years ago became rocky between us all and it has been a slow climb back to becoming family.

I have 2 Step-sister and 1 Step-brother and they have big families. Well my SB and his wife had a baby girl in sept they have 2 other girls. Well on Sunday she was baptized now for some reason not being invited affected me 100x worse then ever before. I guess maybe because Christmas went well and we all got along I thought things were turning a new leaf. So to not get an invitation or a call I just felt like an outsider of their side of the family again. I know we could not be there but I would have liked to be able to send a card or a gift. So I called my mom Sunday morning and asked why she thought we weren't invited she said they weren't called till a few days before and were told they didn't have to come to the church if they didn't want to.... I mean they are the grandparents. Now my mom is not big on going to church after going threw a very judging time but she isn't against it.

I just feel very frustrated by it. It feels like they don't have to care if we want to be involved or not. I know it is hard being 1600 miles from them all but I am still there Facebook friend and they have my phone number. It just really hurt to not be invited.

Now I am just waiting for my beta #2 test results! XOXO

HCG

2010-02-19T15:11:00.002-05:00

119

I don't have words to describe my amazing happiness.... All I want to know is there one or two or more... LOL XOXO

OMG it is almost tomorrow!

2010-02-18T17:52:00.003-05:00

I am so so so so so so excited and nervous for tomorrow. That mystery number will arrive. I don't have much to say but we are pretty sure DH wont be here for the 7 week U/S. We are both really excited for tomorrow so I am just living in the moment for now!
I will let you all know as soon as I can about my beta! XOXO

Hello Friday are you here yet?

2010-02-17T21:02:00.004-05:00

Well today has been a long day just feeling extra tired. I POAS it was the digital one and it told me Pregnant ... Not that I didn't believe the others I had peed on before it is just extra to see the word! Just yesterday it said not pregnant. Well I am anxious for Friday to arrive.

Today my body just hurts. I was reading Christa's blog today and I noticed on one of her comments a link to another blog that talked about all those symptoms or non-symptoms we are feeling right now. I know every time I go to the bathroom it is like a, this might not be working, as I am still spotting brown.

So hopeful for good numbers for Jennifer tomorrow! Say an extra prayer for her!

Goodnight and Sweet Dreams!! XOXO

I'm a total worry wort.... UPDATED!

2010-02-16T08:29:00.009-05:00

So I got up on Sunday morning and POAS and it was the faintest line ever. Actually it didn't show up till about 30 min after I peed on it. So I wasn't extremely confidant about the test. So DH and I were sitting for our friends that afternoon and she had bought me a test! So I went to the bathroon and after 5 mins

The reason I have been so hesitant to post this is because my beta isn't till Friday, my lines are not super dark, and I have had brownish spotting since Sunday afternoon. Everybody I have talked about this said as long as there is no cramps and no red I am fine. It is so hard to not feel like the rug is going to be pulled out. To be so happy and to w

orry about having that taken away. It is just hard. I am so excited for us. And my husband can't believe it either.

Update: That test would have been 6dp3dt I took an EPT today to see if I show on another brand todays is 8dp3dt I was at my friend Amanda's house so she peed on the other one!

PLEASE IF YOU ARE MY FACEBOOK FRIEND OR KNOW MY FAMILY WE ARE NOT WANTING TO SPREAD THE NEWS TILL WE HAVE SEEN A HEARTBEAT! THANK YOU! XOXO

Happy Valentines day!

2010-02-14T09:25:00.002-05:00

So DH surprised me with a dozen red roses sitting in my car for me as I was shopping at the commissary. (OMG could there have been any more babies there today. It was like every one had one in a carrier in their carts)

He was working on base so I didn't expect this extra sweetness.

He also come home and gave me a box of Godiva chocolates. They are my favorite! I haven't had them in a long time.

I am not sure what we will be doing today we are not exciting V-day people the last few years we have gone out on the 13th since it is less busy. So we will probably go out tomorrow! :)

So you all enjoy your Sunday and Valentines and give the ones you love LOTS AND LOTS of KISSES! OXOXOXO

My newest friend Jennifer!

2010-02-12T20:11:00.002-05:00

Well I told you a little about my friend Jennifer that I met at Walter Reed well she decided to start blogging after she read mine and a few of yours so please head over to her blog and welcome her to the blogging world that I have come to know and love.. You all are wonderful!

http://www.hopesdreamsandinfertility.blogspot.com/

So glad to be home!

2010-02-12T11:05:00.002-05:00

I have never been so glad to see grass... yes it is kind of Florida cold here but it is great!

So I POAS today.... I know it is way early but I just have the most horrible boob pain.

So to all my IF-er's out there this is 7dpo4dpt for me. What is the earliest you have POAS and the earliest you have gotten a positive????

Happy Friday!

Snowed in.....

2010-02-09T22:14:00.005-05:00

So after 8 inches the first weekend, 4 inches a week ago, 30 inches on Fri- sat, and here we are on Tuesday night waiting to get 12-24 inches again!

I am so SICK of the snow. I just want to go home... Even had a SMALL emotional break down about getting in the car and driving home (all 17 hours).

We had tickets booked to leave today at 5pm but I guess SW had other plans for us. So we hope to leave on Thursday.

Right now I am just the incubator as I have been getting called I can't say I am not enjoying the extra treatments! I will never be able to say this was an uneventful 2ww.

Stay safe and warm all my co-snow bunnies!

My Embies!

2010-02-08T23:03:00.002-05:00

I am proud to introduce Em and Bree....

These lucky 2 were implanted at 9am.

They said we make beautiful embryos and we hope

they or one of them stuck!

I feel good and now we wait till the 19th for our beta!

Ready

2010-02-07T19:31:00.004-05:00

I am so ready to be back home. To be in my bed again to see my fluffy puppies and not as much white stuff... It is a race to get out of here before we could get 10 more inches of snow Tuesday night! I can't believe I will be "pregnant" tomorrow! I am beyond excited. I know I should calm my hopes incase it doesn't work but this will be the closest I have ever been to being knocked up!
For all my Non IF-ers please dont be afraid to ask me about anything if I confuse you with my posts!

Tomorrow will come quickly and I probally wont sleep well but wish us luck!

100...14...9...6...28

2010-02-06T15:52:00.005-05:00

Well I have been waiting till I had some for sure numbers to give you till I posted.

100.... This is my 100th post Woo Hoo It would have to be the one with some interesting news!

14... That is how many eggs they harvested on Friday morning. I ended up with ALOT of pain but I asked for Anti-nausea before the surgery so the anesthesiologist gave it to me in my IV before I got anesthesia. I got some Demoral in recovery and ended up going home at noon when the surgery started at 9am. Not to bad.

9... That is the number of mature eggs out of the 14.

6... That is the number of embies growing. I wasn't sure if I would even get a phone call because of the snow but they did call and so now we hope and pray for them to keep growing. Please also pray for my new friend Jen and Chris as they have 2 embies out of 15 eggs harvested still growing. Tomorrow is their day 3 and they are putting it in God's hands to keep their little embryos growing. They are an awsome Army couple and they will make wonderful parents!

28... INCHES OF SNOW!!!! OMG we are in the heart of the Blizzard of 2010. I have seen alot of snow growing up in WI but it is the most I have seen as an adult. So now we wait till monday and we find out how our 6 are doing.

35 hours and counting.....

2010-02-03T22:30:00.004-05:00

So I had 18 eggs this morning and they "found" 2 more on my left side so what did have 5 now has 7... WOW I think little miss lefty has a few more I hope she is hiding behind my "beautiful" uterus! I only say this as I have been told this with the last 3 US by 3 different dr's so it gives me hope that this beautiful uterus will want to carry a child! I am not sure what makes one more beautiful then another on a black and white ultra sound screen. Well husband gave me HCG at 9:30pm on the nose so Friday will be the big morning.

I had a really sweet dr( I wish I knew her name) she gave me 3 US at different times threw out the last few days and she printed a pictures of Mr. Right Ovary.

This is my Right ovary on DRUGS any questions!

If you go to my Cycle Day 12 when I was on clomid and Follistim you will see what Mr. Righty looked like then... BIG differance!

Time for bed... Blood work at 630am!

Our Love story

2010-02-01T22:32:00.003-05:00

Well NYC Girl asked me: How did you and your hubby meet? How long were you dating before he proposed & how did he do it? She is also a sucker for love stories.

Because it is late I will give you the short verison..

We met online. My friend Melissa saw his AOL personal add and told me he was a hottie and I should write to him... So I did! That was June 13th 2000! Well after months of emails, chats, and phone calls I flew to Shreveport, LA to meet him. That was October 13th, 2000. We lived this long distance relationship till I moved to Louisiana August 15th, 2001.

Him being military he was deployed right after 9/11/01 and then again in the begining of 2003 so we did alot of being long distance. So we finally got a year of being together and on May 1st, 2004 My 23rd birthdy he in front of our close friends asked me to marry him!

We got married on November 13th of 2004 in front of our friends and family.
I will post a picture later! Sorry this is short 5am is going to come quickly!

Question and Answer time

2010-01-30T13:04:00.002-05:00

I stole/ borrowed this from Christa at Fearlessly Infertaile she is having her implantation today so excited for her 2 embies. Well any who here it is...

I'm on "vacation" with nothing to do but blog all day (what a very happy day!) I figured it would be a great time to start a little Q& A. Please feel free to ask me anything and I will respond to them all in another post. I'm an open book so nothing is off limits. It can be about infertility, my life, my likes and dislikes, whatever you want to ask. I look forward to seeing what kind of questions you can come up with!

Thanks Christa and thanks for the questions.

So confusing

2010-01-30T12:46:00.003-05:00

Well this morning was a super easy drive as no 6am Sat morning traffic. I had BW and US again. This was the 4th dr I saw. LOL She was nice and informative. They keep saying I am slow to respond but getting better. I will still be on 300iu Gonal-f and 4 vials of Menopur. Today I asked why she thought I was slow to responding to the injectable. When we had done IUI's with clomid I always saw 2-3 eggs and the month before we did the Mini IVF I had an egg ready to ovulate on it's own. So I am not unresponsive but she thinks that I might have a low egg reserve. The nurse assumed I had PCO ovaries but I have never been diagnosed PCOS and I have not had the symptoms of PCOS. So it is just confusing and I am not really sure if there is a test to see how many eggs I have in my ovaries.

I am proud of me as i didn't break down and cry when she told us this... I wanted to and I am totally a crier but i didn't. I joked with DH if this doesn't work because my eggs do not seem to do anything right we are going to adopt a child from Haiti. We were never told we might have an issue with my eggs so this is a little more heartbreaking. Especially with losing 45lbs since last year.

The Dr called and said my E2 levels are up and looking good so WOO HOO for sleeping in tomorrow!

Sweet 16

2010-01-29T15:03:00.002-05:00

So I had my US and blood work this morning, My lining is at a 7 and I have 12 follies on the right and 6 on the left but 2 of the are under 8mm so they don't think they will get bigger. I actually had a 12 on each side a few 11's and 10's and a bunch of 8's. The Dr I saw today was really positive about evering thing he just believes we are more at the point of cycle day 6 then cycle day 8 because I didn't respond to the meds like they had wanted and that we would have tomorrow off... NOT The IVF nurse just called and guess what... I have to do 4 vials of Menopur tonight (300iu) This shot hurts and feels like I am putting liquid fire in to my skin and I am doubling it.. WTF I always forget to ask for my E2 levels but I am assuming they are not very high if we are going up!

I think a little shopping therapy to counter act the stress is well deserved!

So I am definitely a righty (update)

2010-01-27T13:20:00.003-05:00

Well I have 10 follies... all around 8-6 so nothing super special. But 7 of these are in my right ovary. They are saying I am not responding to the meds like they want. That 1200 E2 was actually 38 E2... So no phone call yet about this morning's blood work. So I am on 300 Gonal-f and 150 Menopur. The dr thinks I will just be one of those to have a long cycle. No ER till day 14 or 16 of stims. That puts us some where around the 4th or 5th of February for ER! I will certainly be sick of shots by then. I would love a sleep in day tomorrow and then back for Blood work and US on Friday! This northern weather is not very nice for my sinuses I am so congested and stuffed up it is not fun! Though the cold weather makes the hot flashes easier! Wow I am full of exclamation points today what is up with that, like everything else I'll just blame the meds.

I will update when I find out my levels.

Update.....
Well no call for my e2 levels so i will take no news as good news so tomorrow will be a day off and sleeping in. Thank u all for ur support it makes this time a lot easier.

Totally Tired and scared shitless (update)

2010-01-26T11:49:00.006-05:00

Wow what a 48 hours is has been. I have totally been MIA. Well we got here Sunday night and the flight was ummm not being able to sit next to my husband and instead sitting next to a really nice couple from DC with a 6 month old. Oh well that is the risk with Southwest! So my SIL said she wasn't ready for us to stay with her so she paid for us to stay at a Hilton by her house. Oh how sweet, Oh what a horrible night! OK imagine the nastiest porno you have ever heard about (because us good girls would have never watched a porno..LOL). That is what went on in the room next to us from 1045-I guess close to midnight. All the Oh, gods and loud screams and moans and spankings and give it me's I never want to hear again!

Then the alarm clock goes off at 4:45am as we have an hour and 15min drive to WR. We get there at 6:30am right on time I was number 22. Uggg how do people get there so early? Then they stuck me 3 times. I had a horrible tech but it is a learning Hospital and I was her guinney pig(can't spell).

So I had to pick up meds at 8am WOW the big bag of meds I was supposed to get last week that took them like forever. So we had some time as DH had an Urology App at 1pm. It would have been a beautiful day to go to the Mall in DC but it was POURING! So we decided to go check out Bolling AFB. Cute base. So little but cute. After going to the BX and the Library and giving ourselves a tour it was 11:45 we head back threw DC grab some Pot Belly and get back just in time .

We were there till 2 the waiting and app took an hour, then we headed up to pre-admission as in case DH count is not good on whatever day the ER is they might have to do the MESA. We were there till 4:30 wating for the different dr's and nurses to check him off his list.

We finally got to my SIL at 6. Well I am EXHAUSTED by now and if there was a wore that ment more tired the exhausted that would have been me. We ate dinner and I crashed on the couch sometime before House was over.

Oh wait lets back up... I get this voice mail as we are waiting for DH's check list to get filled that there will be no Menopur tonight only lupron as my E2 levels are too high... they don't know if this is a lob error as a few ladies were too high but for only being on stims for 3 days I saw my number at 1,236 so for what was to be our 1 for sure sleep in day we were up again at 5am to go have blood work done. She said if my levels stay to high (now there has been no US yet for them to know for sure what my follies look like) that they will just have to cancel the IVF.... OMG freak out. We didn't come all this way and pay all this money for this. So I wait for my 2 or 3pm phone call and see what she says. I also went from 150 gonal-f to 75 this morning. I am so worried because time is not ours. If DH wasn't so close to deploying I wouldn't care as much but what am I supposed to do it they cancel. I HATE WHAT IF's!!!!!!! I ALSO HATE PEOPLE HAVING PORNO SEX IN THE ROOM NEXT TO YOU AT A HOTEL WHEN YOU ACTUALLY NEED SLEEP!! Ok I'll update when I find something out!!!

UPDATE!!!!!

So the Nurse called me and guess what....MY E2 is at 48... Yes 48 I am still shocked

WTF was up with my numbers yesterday who's vial did they think was mine. So that is actually Super LOW! OMG WTF

So this is a picture of what my levels should be progressing this mornings bloodwork would have been for cycle day 4 of stims. I should be alot higher then 48. But for my non IVFers lol this gives you an idea of what I am so upset about!

So tonight is 225 IU of Gonal-f and 150 Menopur and the 5 of Lupron. Wow I am expecting not a very good night sleep and lots of hot flashes which have been my worst symptom. So tomorrow morning is blood work and an US.. I will update you all tomorrow evening. Lets hope that even with my low levels we will have a good dozen follies!

Almost packed and nervous to go!

2010-01-24T09:49:00.001-05:00

So I just want to say I LOVE the q-cap! OMG how do you mix meds without it? I couldn't do it with those big needles I would be all thumbs.

Well I am sure I have over packed for the next 18 days as my SIL will have a washer and a dryer but oh well. I can't wait for my U/S on Wednesday, Monday is just blood work and some DR time for DH.

Oh my the story of the messed up SA. A TMI long very mad story of bad timing and not knowing that DH would have to give a SA when we were up there in Dec any whoo with already having a low count he didn't give a 3 day waiting SA, more like a 24 hr SA.. So WR Dr's think he has a super low count. Well we paid for our own SA here and he count came back to his normal 2.5 million not 500,000 which I know doesn't sound like a big differance but it is the differance between TESA and ICSI. Also a lot more money. So he has to see an Urologist and get one more SA done and a check by the Dr.

I wish WR allowed us to store eggs instead of making them all embryos. I know that is strange to read but with us not knowing really what my DH chromosome abnormality might mean because the Dr's can't give us a diagnoses we are just in limbo until the embryos are implanted. If they could store eggs and only fertilize half if there was something wrong we would hopefully still have eggs left to decide what to do next instead of starting from the beginning and worrying about the embryos that were frozen. That is just my rambling thoughts. At a traditional IVF center we would have that choice but I don't believe we do at WR.

Oh random thought my Gonal-F didn't hurt this morning but Lupron Killed last night. I have gotten to the point my belly is super sensitive and I can't shoot there at all anymore. Thank you think thighs for taking it for the team. Well it is off to finish the packing we are sad to miss the Jets vs Colts! But I am hoping the Vikings can beat the Saints!

Wow that really burns!

2010-01-22T15:31:00.002-05:00

Well this morning was my first Gonal-F I gave it to myself in my upper thigh since I was going straight to the commissary after. WOW that burned I had my Ice Cube ready but it still wasn't very nice.

Wish me luck with the Menpur tonight.

Oh tonight is also our Valentines Day this is the last night Dh and I get brown chicken, brown cow, for at least a month if this deployment happens as soon as it could it might be 7 months!

EPT coupon!

2010-01-21T23:04:00.002-05:00

Ok, so all my fellow IVF or IUI cycle ladies here is EPT $5 off printable coupon. If you like me I am going to want a stick at home for my 14dpo and if I can save $5 even better! Having babies and trying to make babies isn't cheap if you didn't know! LOL

I love this coupon blog!

http://www.stlmommy.com/2010/01/ept-500-coupon-free-at-walmart.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+STLMommy+(STL+Mommy)

Tender

2010-01-20T23:37:00.003-05:00

So I don't start my stims till Friday but I am feeling so tender in my lower abdomen. TMI warning but I am also have bright red discharge. IDK if this normal or what I guess I will call the nurse in the morning!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-20T11:31:00.005-05:00

On the way home!

Walter Reed update

2010-01-19T15:02:00.003-05:00

I had a great weekend. It was really nice to have a Girls Weekend with Amanda and her MD Clan! LOL

So Monday was a very EARLY morning. I was up at 5:15am to get to WR by 6:20am. there was no traffic because of the holiday. Well they had told me to be there by 6:45am and even though I got there early i was #18 for the morning out of 25.

I met a girl named Jen on the exact same schedule as me. Whoo hoo an IVF buddy. It will be nice to have someone to compare with side affects and progression.

So I start 150iu of Gonal-f on Friday morning and then 75iu of Menopur Friday night with 5iu of Lupron. Wow 3 shots a day! I am for sure going to have to move on to giving them in the top of my thigh as my belly is already bruised. The IVF nurse warned me that the Gonal-f is really a bad drug and that I might need an ice cube after the injection. What reactions or helps have youg Hope for a baby's blog I am scared out of my mind to just do the single transfer. I would rather have 2 at 3 day then 1 at 5 day. IDK it is such a hard choice after all the time and money and emotions that come with IVF to make that choice.

My dad arrives Thursday to give some comfort and watching my doggies as we are away.It is nice to know he will be here.

Well my lap top wont be done till I am back from WR and My wonderful friend Amanda is letting me borrow hers. She is so sweet! This weekends trip was a blast thanks for coming with me Amanda!

Lappy Toppy I am sorry I dropped you

2010-01-17T14:23:00.001-05:00

So I accidentally dropped my lap top and now I have black screen of death so off you go to the best buy hospital and I will be without you for 3 weeks. I am so sad and I am so sorry I dropped you!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2010-01-15T10:13:00.003-05:00

Well I leave today to go to MD. My friend Amanda is going with me as she has been wanting to take a trip back to her local hang out. I am not nervous about seeing the DR's for my baseline I think the butterflies of really really starting the whole IVF is now here. I am not really sure how traveling with Lupron will be with TSA. I know I will be fine with the vile but I am not sure with the syringes. Now this wouldn't be an issue if my shot time wasn't in the middle of our flying time!

I am also excited to meet some more Military Wives or couples that are going threw exactly what we are. Not that I feel like the people in my life don't understand I just am feeling extra emotional with it all especially with the deployment looming over our heads.

This weekend is going to be fun, new people to meet, new places to eat and just a great Ladies weekend! The only place I have ever gone without my husband has been home to my mom's so this is a new one.

Have a great weekend!

This is me on my laptop yesterday. This is what most of my days are spent doing!

Not Me Monday

2010-01-11T22:56:00.002-05:00

I had typed out most of a not me Monday but then decided that I didn't want to do it. I didn't want my IF friends going to her page and seeing her blog talk about her being knocked up for the 5th time.

No jealousy, just frustration at this battle we go threw every day that it isn't easy for us that can't seem to conceive a single child. We take these pills and shots and go threw the debt and the emotional roller coaster.

So as much as I enjoyed doing the Not Me Monday's I will not be doing one this week.

Sorry if this seems mean maybe it is just the Lupron Talking!

My Timeline

2010-01-10T17:31:00.003-05:00

So a few days we got our more specific timeline. I have to get my first baseline appointment on the 18th but with DH deployment prep I will be going to WR by myself but just for the weekend. Then to come home for the week and both head up there for our appointments on the 25th. I still hate the thought of them taking blood almost every day as I have horrible veins! So the lupron isn't too bad so far. No major or minor side affects. Monday will be my last BC pill and so it will be just the synthroid in the morning and Lupron at night. I found out my progesterone will be a inter muscular shot in my hip or booty LOL this is not a fun thing as DH might be gone before these shots are done. WTH am I going to do then. I am very lucky to have friends that will help, but it is just the beginning of things he will not be here for.

I am sad for the things he will miss if we conceive and I am sad for the thoughts of having to be alone if we do not.

Dear Lupron

2010-01-08T12:15:00.002-05:00

Dear Lupron,

I don't like you. You burned, the needle hurt, and you made me feel sick to my tummy. How the next 2 weeks as we do our nightly dance I will not like you and you will keep hurting me.

You better do your job in the process of trying to make many, many eggs! Not that is what you do but you better do what you are supposed to do which I am not really sure what that is. LOL

Please try to be nicer to me tonight.

Love,

Sarah

My Meadow~

2010-01-06T15:09:00.002-05:00

$5,374

2010-01-06T11:07:00.003-05:00

$5,374 is what we paid to Walter Reed yesterday to be financially cleared I hope to get my baseline date some time today. I know to most of you who also are doing treatments without insurance that looks really reasonable for a cycle and then to those of you who are not doing fertility treatments that looks like so much money. To us we hope it is the amount that will help us conceive our baby.

You probably just read that and now are feeling kind of bored well our life has been anything but boring lately. We have been all over this country visiting family and you know when you visit family during the holidays it is never boring, drunken card game, fights with siblings.. All the fun stuff.

Now to the emotional stuff. My Husband is deploying some time within the next 8 weeks. Just hopefully enough time to do the IVF and for him to leave. The only thing I can plan on is being an emotional roller coaster the next 7 months. He might be gone before we even get to the BFP or BFN! It makes me sad to think about him not being here with me but I am also trying not to get to emotional about it as I know the IVF will be emotional on a normal day! I have had a few people say "well why don't you just wait till he gets back". When you have almost been trying for 4 years you don't want to wait any longer. I have a wonderful support system so I feel lucky that way. I hate the big WHAT IF... What if this doesn't work and I am home all alone and still not pregnant?

We are lucky my dad is driving down from WI to take care of our dogs the 3 weeks we will be away. So I hope to have a date for my baseline appointment by the end of the day. I will be starting Lupron sometime soon too as I only have a few days left of my birth control. I have never taken Lupron before so i am not sure how these shots will feel and how I will feel on them. If anybody has any thoughts on the Lupron I will take them!

I am sorry for not blogging as much the last few weeks. I hope to catch up the next few months.

Good Bye 2009 Hello 2010

2009-12-31T20:45:00.004-05:00

Is it bad to be grateful for a year to be over. I am ready for 2010 to start. 2009 ended with Lupron arriving and us being medically cleared by Walter Reed I never knew Lupron was a shot. Hmm nice surprise. Not that I had a horrible year just a handful of let downs. I am not excited for DH to deploy sometime this year but that is what comes with our life. I am very lucky to have love and support of my friends and family. I hope that 2010 brings happiness, health, and lots of baby dust.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T17:49:00.002-05:00

Well there is nothing like being home for Christmas. I love the snow, the food, the Family. Christmas Eve for us is not big but tradition to be at one of my Mom's brothers or Sister's homes. This year it is at my Aunt's I made a hot Chicken dip. Well we are in the middle of getting beautiful white Christmas. This is a picture of my parents home. Have a Wonderful Holidays!

Merry Christmas! Sarah

About to start christmas

2009-12-14T19:50:00.002-05:00

Our Christmas last for 2 weeks always a week with Dh family and a week with mine. WOW I can't imagine all the presents and food that the next 2 weeks will be filled with. I hope to not gain any weight during the season. Oh well diets can start next year. Being on the synthroid doesn't make me feel any different and I am so glad for that. Agggg how I will miss my bed.

Have I ever told you I hate packing? I really do. I ALWAYS forget something, a few times it is socks for DH, other times it has been toothbrushes, hairbrushes, underwear for DH... I never forget my stuff as I do the packing.

So I am not excited to be starting my Birth Control some time this week. Remembering 2 pills every morning is not my cup of tea but it is a start to the cycle starting. Whoo Hoo

Have a Happy Holidays everyone!

My new background

2009-12-09T16:29:00.002-05:00

So I was reading Suzy's blog and loved her background so I checked out where she got it from and just fell in love with all the templates. So please go check out Template-Mama !

I am calmer now

2009-12-09T15:12:00.002-05:00

I love my old RE's office. I wish we could afford to do the IVF threw them and not have to go to Walter Reed. So the Dr at WR called in a prescription for synthroid my TSH is at a 2.91 and they want it below a 2.5 for the mental health of the baby. That is what they say. So this is my last afternoon of being a substitute parent DH and I have been watching 3 of our favorite kids. they are 18 months, 3 and 6... It is always a big does of reality especially the night before last when the littles were up at 2, 230, and 4... It was like the start of my bad day yesterday. As I said I am calmer now and feeling more together in my head. Being with them makes the yurn to be a parent even stronger. So sorry if my feelings yesterday were strong it was one of those bad days!

So Furious!

2009-12-08T15:53:00.003-05:00

I am ready to be done with it all... Last night's bad sleep, went in to bad test results, went in to me having to get on ANOTHER medicine I don't want to get on and not being able to see the dr to get on the medicine, because seeing an Endocrinologist is one of the hardest dr's to try and see. Why can't my PCM just perscribe me the

darn synthroid.

This day just can't get worse. I have cried and screamed and I just want to cry and scream some more!

2000

2009-12-03T02:33:00.002-05:00

WOW you guys like me you really like me! As I have hit 2000 hits since I starting blogging in AUG!

I don't know which one of you were 2000 but if you know I would like to thank you personally sorry to not have a prize!

Packing and Laundry 2.... the sad episode

2009-12-03T02:14:00.002-05:00

So Walter Reed wasn't anything amazing for us as we have heard all the IVF steps talk before. They just need my most recent PAP and a Dr writing off that my BMI is below 40 and then we are in ( oh yeah and paying them) and I will start BC on my next period! WOO HOO ... well that lasted about 45 min as we were on our way back to my SIL home we got the call that DH Grandma(Mom's Mom) had passed away. She had been in the Hospital since Friday with an infection in her lungs and I guess it was just her time. 4 years ago we were in this same situation as my DH Grandpa (dad's dad) had passed and as we went to Mississippi for the funeral we found out my Aunt passed at the same time my MIL was in the hospital sick from a diabetic episode. It was a VERY BAD MONTH! So off we go again leaving for Mississippi.

I am just wanting a week of sleeping in my own bed. Sunday we start taking care of my friends 3 little ones so they can go enjoy a romantic get away to a beautiful Cabin! He was deployed for 6 months so they deserve this time together.

So I need to go to bed as I have a ton to do tomorrow... Thanks for being there!

Packing and Laundry

2009-11-30T15:30:00.005-05:00

Wow it has been a crazy few days. We went to the In-Law for thanksgiving and had a ok time. We got to see our friends new born son so that was nice. So it was packing and laundry for that trip and today is packing and laundry for our trip to Walter Reed so nervous and stressed I feel like I can't see straight. I know we aren't doing anything at this time but it is so hard with it being so far away this will be the first and last time we see them before we start our IVF adventure with them.

What a crazy fun weekend I had. My friend Amanda's Birthday was Saturday and so we had a girls night out... Let me just say WOW and CRAZY. We went to P.F. Changs first to start the evening. What a fun time we even got free extra Shanghai Cucumbers. LOVE THOSE THINGS! Then we had decided to go to the ladies nudie bar. It was so funny. We all pretended to be each other's Girlfriends as too keep this guy from hitting on us. I was DD so only one shot for me but the others ended up pretty Tipsy... And the fun doesn't stop there Sunday was Husbands VS Wives in out Fantasy Footbally League and also my friends son's 3rd Birthday (Toy Story themed) so lots of burgers, beans, mac & cheese, my famous taco dip and CAKE! YUMM YUMM It is certainly a do over kind of weekend.

Well in 2 hours we get on a plane. I will blog Tuesday night to let you all know what we found out. Hopefully all good news. Please keep a prayer for my husbands grandmother she is in the hospital with pneumonia and other infections. She is in her 80's and had 13 children so she has lived a very full life but it is still hard to have someone you love sick and not close!

I hope you all had a great thanksgiving as I did!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T11:58:00.007-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

We are heading to the In-laws for the big day!

This will be the first Thanksgiving I ever have in Georgia and i have been with my husband for 9 years. I guess either my parents came to visit or we just hung out with friends.

I can be a picky eater so I am worried not so much about the turkey but about the rest. Northern Thanksgiving meals tend to be quite different from Southern Thanksgiving meals. I will make sure to blog about the difference this weekend. I will miss not having Thanksgiving with my parents and especially my mom's wild rice stuffing.

It will be an exciting and crazy weekend and week! It will be filled with Thanksgiving, My Friend Amanda's Birthday, Her son Jakey's Birthday, Sunday is Fantasy Football where the husbands play the wives and then Monday off, off and away to Walter Reed! Wow when will I have time to sleep? LOL

How crazy will the next few months of our life get!?!?! I can't wait!

I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful weekend!

A New Appointment!

2009-11-20T00:59:00.003-05:00

I saw this on Remember All the Way blog! They are just so cute....(Get them here http://wigflip.com/superstickies/)

oh and P.S. This is a real reminder note as we have our first DR app at Walter Reed Scheduled.

The New Me

2009-11-16T09:43:00.008-05:00

So I went this weekend to get my hair done with my friend Amanda. I some how had a huge need for change. I ended up cutting 10 inches of hair off and donating it to Locks of Love

MY HAIR BEFORE

10 INCHES OF HAIR

AFTER SHE CUT IT!

DURING MY HIGHLIGHTS

THE NEW ME.

A LOT OF BLONDE AND A LOT LESS HAIR!

LOVING IT!

Great News at 7:45am!

2009-11-16T09:04:00.003-05:00

So this morning was an early awakening. Let me just say I am not a morning person at all! Morning usually starts at 11am. LOL

Well this morning started with an early 7:45am phone call from a number I didn't know. It was the IVF center at Walter Reed saying they had gotten our referral letter and test results from my RE Dr. S and that she was sending me a packet for step two and that we are on schedule for doing IVF with them in January..... OMG WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .

I am excited beyond belief. I was getting worried we were cutting it to close. Knowing that Dr. S was pretty sure we were going to need ICSI I was extra worried as there are only 30 slots for ICSI at the WR Military Medical Facility.

Next is trying to get my husband a permissible TDY so he doesn't have to take leave. We are super lucky my SIL lives in MD so we will have somewhere to stay and have the extra expense of hotel.

I am just so excited and so happy and feeling like a huge weight is off my shoulders. What a way to start Monday!

5 Years

2009-11-13T14:03:00.003-05:00

So today is our 5 year Wedding Anniversary. 5 years have flown by. 5 years ago we lived in a 1 bedroom apartment had 1 dog. Since then we bought and sold a house and moved to a whole new state. Big changes that I hope to continue for the best over the next 5 years. I love my husband with my whole heart and I could not imagine my life without him. He is my rock and even deals with my HORRIBLE car singing! LOL.

We agreed to no gifts this year since things are tight but he still surprised me with roses! I love the multi-colored pink ones. Happy 5 years I love you!

Dreams

2009-11-04T12:19:00.002-05:00

So last night i had this crazy dream about telling this older group of ladies that DH and I were days away from getting our adopted child but I knew in my dream I was lying. It was very surreal. Wanting a baby is ALWAYS on the brain. I compare it to a teenage boy thinking about sex. Everything reminds you that you don't have a baby. I am not a very jealous person so I don't carry anger at people that have children I just want mine. It is not so much to ask just a waiting game.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T23:00:00.000-04:00

Well I hope you all had a great Halloween. I have always loved Trick or Treating. Well i do love candy LOL. It is just so much fun the memories or being a kid again. So this year I went Trick or Treating with my friend Amanda and her 3 Little ones. Mr Buzz and Little Miss Piggy were so cute. As you can see I ended up with her oldest Star Wars Helmet on my head as he didn't want to wear it. I think I look pretty cool. Plus my shirt glowed in the dark SSSSSSSccccccccaaaaaarrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy....

What you don't see in this picture is us SWEATING to death. Halloween in Florida was 83 degrees at 7pm when we started and a very high humidity. When we stopped at a little after 8 it was still 80 so it really made it a lot less fun then if there would have been a chill in the air.

I also committed a big Halloween Etiquette NO-NO by not remembering to turn my porch light on at my house as I don't live in the same subdivision as Amanda. We ALWAYS leave it on because I feel safer if it is always on insted of just turning it on when we are home. So sorry to all my trick or treaters that came to my door and i didn't answer with candy because I was not here.

I have always had such a love for trick or treating that on my 17th birthday in MAY my friends and i went trick or treating in my neighborhood. Yes Teenage girls dressed up and acting silly. Then again I was raised in a town of 1000+ people and I was related to half the town and the rest of the girls were related to the rest. LOL I remember getting chocolate chips and coins.... Nothing really good but it was still a fun time. I had a prom dress on! Well I hope you had a great weekend too.

2009-10-31T00:28:00.001-04:00

New to mobile blogging so wanted to see if it worked.

Alison

2009-10-30T00:32:00.002-04:00

So I wasn't going to blog tonight but my friend Alison after a little coxing decided to start her own blog. She is a military wife like myself and has the cutest little boy Jack. I met her 7 years ago in Cosmetology school ( I was actually going for skin care) we became friends instantly! So here is her blog please go check it out! I can't wait for her stories about jack and her life it is never boring!

Alison Fabulous!

I'm Back

2009-10-28T22:22:00.002-04:00

Well I didn't really go anywhere I just haven't been in a blogging mood the past few days. Nothing exciting going on. I told my Dr. S about us trying to get in to the Walter Reed IVF program in January since we can't really afford a full IVF right now. He was very supportive and said he would write a letter explaining the failed mini IVF to help us.

I am not a big drinker but I do like wine or a cocktail every once in a while. Since we wont be trying till Jan I picked up a 6pk of the new Bacardi Sangria's they are pretty good. One will be good enough to get me feeling warm and happy.. LOL

Sorry i don't have more to blog about. Have a great evening.

Tomorrow

2009-10-27T00:44:00.000-04:00

We see Dr S tomorrow to tell him what we decided to do. Not easy to tell your dr we cant afford him. I'll let you know how it goes.

Home

2009-10-25T23:00:00.001-04:00

7 and 1/2 hours in the car and 3 states later we are home! I will miss Bobby , Kendra, and John so much as they will be moving overseas in January... :(

mckgiveaways

2009-10-24T20:20:00.005-04:00

So Mckmama is have one of her many give aways and she got this amazing new fridge by reviewing it for Samsung. She is such an amazing blogger. It also helps having such an interesting life.

Anyways please go check out her blog by clicking on the picture of her fridge and reading about her giveaway for a $200 best buy gift card.

http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/10/amazing-best-buy-giveaway.html

32 days of blogging

2009-10-23T10:15:00.003-04:00

So the 21st was actually 30 days of blogging. WOW I did it I took the time and wrote every day. Even on the hard days which I know really helped to have all of your support. Friends are always strangers before they become your friends. Being busy here in SC I will probally just give a low down of the weekend on Sunday night or Monday morning which ever I have more energy for. Unless some great story happens that I have to tell ya'll. Have a wonderful weekend yourselves and hopefully enjoy some fall weather!

Visiting Bobby

2009-10-23T01:29:00.005-04:00

So we got in to SC today and I was able to be with Kendra and Bobby from 9 till 1am when he finally fell asleep. His sleep clock is flip flopped and you can tell he gets so bothered with the other monitors in the PICU beeping. I brought him some cars and a sticker book things to keep a 2yr old busy but not too busy!

This is me and Goldie riding in the car. They are such great road dogs!

Hello AF nice to see you again... NOT

2009-10-21T22:51:00.003-04:00

AF you love to show up at the most opportune time. How about in the middle of our 5 hour road trip? I was expecting you and hoping you would stay away. You know that little bit of hope that we might get pregnant on our own you shot that down. So now I go visit my friends son in the hospital and you will come with and bring your friends cramps and headaches. Thanks AF you will make my first trip to Charleston extra special I hope you enjoy yourself too.

ICLW

2009-10-21T20:44:00.003-04:00

It was a travel filled day 5 hours up I-75.... So I am going for somthing simple with my blog it's get to know me via google images! This came from my blogger buddy Suzy so I am totally using it today! Here's how it works. If you decide to do this, you have to mention the blog where you saw it then use Google Images to explain your answers for each category listed below.

Enjoy!

1. Your favorite beverage: Diet Dr. Pepper. I could live off of it and drink it morning, noon, and night (and sometimes I do)!

2. Your hometown: Grantsburg, WI

Yes here they actually in the summer take snowmobiles and race them across water it is a 3 day weekend!

3. Your favorite television show: The Bing Bang Theory

4. Your occupation: Being Mrs. Smith

5. Your first car: 1983 Oldsmobile Omega and I got this car in 1997 mine was gray!

6. Your favorite dish: Turkey and cheese sandwich I can eat these every day... with chips LOL

7. Celebrity you've been told you most resemble: I was once told Lindsay Lohan I guess 100lbs less and in the right light!

8. Celebrity "crush": Taye Diggs has been looking fine in Private Practice

9. Your favorite childhood toy: I loved my cabbage patch infant mine had brown eyes and I still have it!

10. Any random photo: My Meadow sleeping on my blanket on the couch.

Laundry, Cleaning, Packing

2009-10-20T21:28:00.002-04:00

2 loads of laundry, car washed and vacuumed, kitchen cleaned, and packed.

Oh and a great dinner cooked by Denny's LOL.

That was my day.

I'll keep you up to date with my trip.

Hopefully some beautiful pictures too.

Not Me Monday

2009-10-19T14:19:00.003-04:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It's not me that still has laundry on the love seat from last week.
It's not me that forgot how to dress for cool weather and wore flip flops with a long sleeved top and pants.
It's wasn't me that set the house alarm off twice( or 3 times) this week to let the dogs out in the morning oh and once more when I accidently pushed the alarm key chain.
It wasn't me who packed enough clothes for a month when I thought I might have to go up north after my dad had a heart attack.
It is definitely not me who still hasn't unpacked those clothes that I packed on Thursday. What is it with me and clothes? LOL

Sunday Chili Sunday

2009-10-18T22:17:00.007-04:00

Well it was chilly for Florida and I made Chili so I that is my Sunday in a nutshell. Oh I also watched football all day! Go Packers (and Brett Farve LOL) ! He is a crazy old man still great at playing football. Oh and he is the QB of my Fantasy Football Team! It got to a balmy 68 today. I love Fall! I have high hopes not to see 90 until June. But then again I live in Florida so 90 might be here tomorrow.

My BFF's son is having open heart surgery on Wednesday because of Atrial Septal Defect. He is 26 months old and such an amazing little boy who has no idea he has a broken heart that needs to be fixed so that he can really be perfect. I can not imagine the worry she is feeling. I know I will be worrying and praying for them till I can see them on Thursday. I was there for almost every Tuesday for the first year of his life so the last 13 months, and only seeing him once, has been hard. He has a very special place in my heart!

FYI: DH and I have decided we are going to wait until after the the first of the year to try IVF. The next few months are full of holidays and stuff. LOL So I believe a little bit more time will be the best. We will start with a fresh year and a fresh out look on our life.

Pumpkins Everywhere

2009-10-17T22:48:00.012-04:00

So I don't have a lot to say but I had a wonderful day with pumpkins. I ended up going to a pumpkin patch with my friend and her 3 littles.

I got myself one and came home and carved it. I do love Halloween.

The ones at home were taken by DH the ones at the patch was taken by my friend. She is such a professional I always love her pictures!

Morning Thunderstorms

2009-10-16T11:37:00.002-04:00

It was nice and not nice to wake up to all the thunder this morning. We haven't had real rain in a few weeks but this decided to start at 5am. My Goldie does not like thunder at all. She has always barked at it so it always wakes us up. There is no stopping the barking so most times we just put her in her cage so we can finish sleeping. She gets so worked up we even had her on some anti anxiety meds if we knew there was going to be a Louisiana TS. So I know it is boring to just talk about rain and how Florida is finally get some cooler weather but it is exciting as it has been 90 constantly since June.

So glad he's ok!

2009-10-15T20:48:00.004-04:00

So my dad ended up having a stint put in but only one so it wasn't major. He is still in the hospital. They still think he might have an infection in the sac around his heart so they will run the test for that tomorrow. He probably wont go home till Saturday. The hardest part is finding out if he will need me to come help for a few weeks after. Him and my mom are so stubborn so to ask for help is the last thing they would do, but I made sure to put it out there. I am not working and as hard as it would be for my DH he would be ok!

We were able to take a nice walk tonight. It still feels like Aug outside but it is getting cooler. It was 80 degrees. We could only take Meadow for the walk with us I don't want to strain Goldie yet. She is still slightly whining when she get under the coffee table and jumps on the bed. Two of her favorite things to do so there is no way to stop her but her whining makes me cringe. Well it is time for a deserved bath tonight.

A worry filled morning

2009-10-15T11:41:00.003-04:00

Well my mom called me this morning to let me know my Step-dad had a heart attack he is such a wonderful dad. I hate being so far away from Wisconsin. I don't think we will ever live in Wisconsin I have become such a southern girl to deal with that much winter but I don't like being so far away. My mom doesn't want me to rush home as he is ok but I just hate not being there. So I stay here in Florida and wait and worry and know I can get on a 6pm flight if I need to!

I'm Kreative

2009-10-14T12:15:00.005-04:00

This is my first Blog AWARD! Thank you so much Suzy this really made my day!

The rules:

Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

My 7 things:

Yesterday I met my husband in person for the first time 9 years ago. We met on the internet 4 months before that.
I was born in Australia and have dual citizenship.
I actually miss living in Louisiana 7 years of living there it became home.
My mother in law is Sarah also.
I am seriously addicted to Facebook.
I have one thumb smaller then the other one.
I never make my bed. I had to do it for 2 months to sell our home but since then the pretty bedding just sits in my closet.

Now here are the 7 ladies i'm passing this on to:

A at Remember all the way.
Jennifer at Ex Hot Girl
Amanda at Divine Chaos
Kristen at Kristen's Raw
I Love D! at Our Adventures
Gina at ~Baby Manatee~
Dawn at Can you imagine?

Tuesday

2009-10-13T21:09:00.004-04:00

I couldn't think of any special title for today since it was another day that is life. I went to the commissary at 10am this morning as I do every 2 weeks. I did go with my friend and her 3 littles and we went and saw Toy Story 1 & 2 in 3-D . It is never a bad movie but it was a little bit of a long time with the glasses. I think if I was used to wearing glasses it might have been easier but instead it was a small headache. Then this evening it was organizing the groceries. So my day was as you can tell was just a good Tuesday. I hope you had a good Tuesday as well!

Oh P.S. I got these Voodoo Gumbo chips from Zapp's which I know it not a health food but just reminds me of Louisiana. Try them if your looking for a unique flavor crunchy chip!

My Poor Sore Puppy

2009-10-12T11:45:00.002-04:00

I just feel so bad that I can do nothing more to help my dog Goldie. Being that we don't have kids our dogs are our babies. Goldie was the first dog my DH ever had. So it is very hard on him to see her in pain. She is only 6 years. So we will keep up with her meds and hope over the next few day she will start feeling better. I had a wonderful friend recommend glucosamine so i will pick some of that up today. Anything to make my baby feel better!